I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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