yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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