best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
