wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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