he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
