it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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