I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
