I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
