wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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