you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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