I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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