Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize