I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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