Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
