carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
