What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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