no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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