Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
