Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
ok first of all what the fuck
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
