I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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