I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
