Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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