we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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