Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
