I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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