I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
