honey bunches of taint.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
