I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
