The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
