There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
