if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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