Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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