Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Randomize
