Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

(859): View more from Kentucky

i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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(703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q

Replies (8) Good night (2903) Bad night (505)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.

(320): View more from Minnesota

He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.

(406): View more from Montana

Ok, i'm coming over

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(320): It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now. (320): He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage. (406): Ok, i'm coming over http://tfl.nu/vi8g

Replies (6) Good night (3777) Bad night (439)
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(636): View more from Missouri

we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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(636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a

Replies (17) Good night (7003) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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(613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1

Replies (35) Good night (11798) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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(716): I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/l7kg

Replies (34) Good night (3011) Bad night (9730) Order T-Shirt
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(562): View more from California

Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.

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(562): Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester. http://tfl.nu/c099

Replies (3) Good night (1509) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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(254): View more from Texas

That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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(254): That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it. http://tfl.nu/3la0

Replies (10) Good night (1435) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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(614): I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat. (1-614): Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate? http://tfl.nu/mxr5

Replies (8) Good night (2446) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.

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(508): You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston. http://tfl.nu/25jx

Replies (12) Good night (1111) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.

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(917): I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside. http://tfl.nu/ng1w

Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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(270): I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde. http://tfl.nu/pj3w

Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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(804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge

Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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(519): I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen http://tfl.nu/o99g

Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving

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(406): Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving http://tfl.nu/p7rm

Replies (18) Good night (1986) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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(419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69

Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt

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