I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
