the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize