I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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