where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
