So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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