If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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