Me. At least after what I've been through.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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