I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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