omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize