I hope mine doesn't look like that
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
