She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
