i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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