I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
