Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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