You work out of a Hotel?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it because I queefed?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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