it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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