You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
