I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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