Porn is love you can see.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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