I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think my moral compass just broke
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