Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
