I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
