Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
