god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...