in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize