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• (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

  (906): View more from Michigan

  so you're not coming in to work today?

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.

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• (650): View more from California

  we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  "We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.

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