You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.