Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize