She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.