The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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