im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
