I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
