had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
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ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
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I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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